Extended Metaphors - April 9

 

If I were a day of the week, I would be Friday, because it’s always a good time. Friday is the most laid back day of the week. No work on Saturday, Normally, so I can stay out late and have and hit the club or go to the bar. Or like a lot of Friday nights after I get off work go home and go to sleep but sometimes I actually hit the town. Just 2-3 weeks ago Sura and I went to Springfield to go to the Hy-vee and drove around for 2 hours to find somewhere to eat.

If I were a food I would be an Apple, because that’s my favorite fruit. I eat at least 1 apple every day. It’s low in calories and rich in minerals so it’s really good for you. I would choose this fruit over any other. They have a lot of good carbs that can give you energy throughout the day.

If I were a car, I would be a Nissan 350z because that’s the coolest car ever. I’ve had a Nissan 350z for 3 months now. I’m finally getting good at driving a Stage 2 Clutch. It’s so much more sensitive than a normal clutch and you have to slip it a little more. It’s the best purchase I’ve ever made and I have no regret in buying it.

Symbolic Recipe - April 8

 1⅔ lbs. honesty  4 oz. of bossy
 12 oz. common sense

1 lbs. intelligence
2 cups reliability
1 oz. creativity
“Quarter Cup” of love
2 lbs. emotion
⅝ Cup trust
9 oz. tolerance
1½ lbs. integrity

 
Ok start with the honesty as a base, then slowly pour in the bossiness. Next you want to add in all that common sense. And then the intelligence, can't forget that. Then put the reliability in. Next pour in that heaping oz. of creativity. Go ahead and toss in that "Quarter Cup" of love. And then the 2 lbs. emotion on top of that. Next mix in that little bit of trust. Almost done, add the tolerance and integrity at the same time and wa-la, you made Jake.

Personal Metaphors - April 5

If I were an animal, I would be a turtle because they slow and don’t care about too much.

If I were a car, I would be a Nissan 350z because that’s the coolest car ever :]

If I were an article of clothing, I would be ripped up jeans, because that’s the style

If I were a day of the week, I would be Friday, because it’s always a good time.

If I were a food I would be an Apple, because that’s my favorite fruit.

If I were a Movie, I would be The Matrix, obviously because that’s a beast of a movie.

If I were a Fragrance I would be Axe, because if I ever wear cologne that’s what I wear.

If I were a type of building I would be a bar, it’s where you go to get rid of your troubles

If I were a plant I would be a cactus, because sometimes I hurt the people close to me.

If I were a musical instrument I would be a Snare Drum, because that’s what I used to play.

If I were a geometric shape, I would be a square, because I’m a square

If I was I piece of furniture I would be the Recliner, because I’m so laid back.

If I were a song I would be Comatose by Skillet, because that’s my favorite song right now.

If I were an appliance I would be dishwasher, because I’m a dishwasher.

If I were a television character I would be, Chuck Norris, because I’m such a pimp. lol

If I were a season of the year I would be fall, because fall is the perfect temperature.

If I were a natural phenomenon, I would be a Solar Eclipse, because it’s so rare and looks amazing

If I were a cartoon character I would be, Peter off Family Guy, because he’s so funny :]

If I were a word, I would be Hope, because I hope this life will get better.

The Ultimate All-Purpose Excuse - April 4

I have thought of the perfect excuse for just about any situation you could come up with. “I ran out of gas,” could save you from getting into almost any kind of trouble. If you’re late for work and you boss flips a lid. “Sorry man I ran out of gas on the way here, and I had to wait for my Mom to come with the gas jug to get my car going.” It even works for situations that you wouldn’t think it would work in. Such as, “Why didn’t you do your homework?” “Well I was on my way home last night to finish up my homework and I ran out of gas in the middle of no where!” See no one to blame. So you get out of trouble as easy as that. Say Sura and I go out to find some “Bawls,” not what you’re thinking of just the energy drink, at 1 a.m. and we get back at like 6 a.m... Sura could just tell his parents that we went out for a short drive and ran out of gas out in the country, and no one would pick up there phone because it was so late. So you turn the blame back on them for not answering there phone (might need to call them once and hang up quick for this to work). But in my opinion that would totally of worked and got him out of trouble. On the other hand I didn’t get in trouble that night because my parents are cool, and know that I’m not going to go out and do something absolutely stupid like get wasted and drive home, or go to a friends house and get high, or go pay a hooker $15 to get some STD’s. So I didn’t even need an excuse. I just said me and Sura went out for a drive looking for an energy drink in Springfield, and my dad just said “well, okay.” And then went on talking about something else like he didn’t mind a bit. Even though he knew I was out all night. But for those of you that do really need an excuse “I ran out of gas in the middle of no where” is pretty much the best one you can use, and will get you out of pretty much any situation. Well about 87.3% of them

What's in a Name? - April 3

A name is what people identify you as. My name is Kenneth Jacob Curtis.  I got my first name from my grandfather on my dad’s side of the family. His name is Kenneth Curtis but he went by Ken on his life. My middle name is Jake, well technically Jacob and that was my mom’s favorite name at the time when she had me so that’s what I got named. Curtis obviously came my dad’s side of the family as its handed down the male’s and given to the females when they get married. I think this name really does suit me. Jake I find to be a great name and I wouldn’t choose any other name if I had the choice. When people miss pronounce my name and say Jack it does irritate me a little. Although it’s very rare because the long “a” sound from having an “e” on the end is a first grade concept, but it still happens here and there. I have done some research on the name Jake and it means your very idealistic and generous, with a strong desire to uplift humanity leading you into situations where you can express your desire to serve others. You want to assume responsibilities and to look after people; however you can become to involved in other people’s problems and tend to worry. I do tend to worry about a lot of things, but I don’t get into other people’s problems. Your name gives you natural desire to express along artistic and musical lines. I love music in listen to it for hours a day easily. You desire a settled home and family life, and are expressive and attentive to your loved ones. That is true I do express myself a lot better in front of family, basically by not being as shy. You must be careful not to become possessive and jealous of those close to you, however as you could attract losses and unfortunate experiences. Oh man, I get very jealous very easily. If you attach an ideal of service to your life, you could find great happiness and could express a very beautiful, happy, responsible, artistic, and generous nature. I find myself to be a very responsible and generous person. But on the other hand I am not artistic by any means.  The weakness of this name is in worry, which in turn affects the nervous system, creating a tendency to be highly strung or over sensitive to the thoughts of others. Like I said early I do get worried about a lot of small things that most people probably wouldn’t even worry about. I think I will stick with the name Jake until the day I die. But when I’m old I might let people call me Ken (since it sounds like an old person name).

Likes & Dislikes - April 2

Likes

My 350z (duh)

My new cell phone

Loud music (not at stoplights but everywhere else)

Chinese food

Star Wars

Good Acapella  

New sports cars

Family Guy

Honesty

Backroading

Having awesome parents

Skype

Walking late at night

Watching NFL

Camping (with a trailer and boat of course)

The Office

That “new car” smell

Skipping school for no reason

Dislikes

Cable TV at 4 a.m.

Flamers

Street names that repeat in one city but just change the “St.” to another ending.

(For example Monett.. County Road, County Street, County Lane. What the heck..

People driving and talking on the phone.

Greediness

The smell of cigarette smoke

Humidity

Diet Coke

Pandora not being free anymore

Truly racist people

The current president

Tattoos that aren’t hidden

People that act like they have no Conscience

When I can’t sleep at night

Math with letters randomly thrown in

Glee

Long lines

Gossip/lies

Prologue - April 1

Well, let me introduce myself. I’m Jake Curtis (First name Kenneth but I don’t go by that because it sounds like an old person name) – I go to school at Pierce City High School and I’m a senior this year but you probably already knew that. I’m 5’4”or just round up we can call it 5’5”. I’ve attended school at Pierce City since second grade back in 2003. Before that I was actually home schooled up to and through second grade. I have 2 older siblings. One is my brother Richard (Dick lol) he moved to Kansas City a few years back and got married. Really don’t ever see him much anymore. But I get to see my older sister a couple times a week and she’s really fun to hang out with. My brother is 24 and my sister is 21, while I’m stuck at being the youngest at 19. Yep you heard right, 19 and I haven’t graduated yet. It’s because of what I spoke about earlier being home schooled through second grade then being put in public school in second grade. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. My classmates are some of the best friends you could ever ask for and I wouldn’t trade them out for anyone else.

            In the future I still plan to live around here. I’d hate to go somewhere like another state and have to re-learn the terrain of the cities. I already know all the towns around here pretty well, except Springfield that’s just a mess and I’ve got to use GPS there. So why leave and have to relearn where everything is? Besides that most of my family all lives right around here from Pierce City to Cassville to Republic. And that’s my Mom’s side of the family. Dad’s side of the family all lives out in the west. Like Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico. The hot states where it’s like 55° in the winter, and they call that cold. When we get down to like 20-25° here. But I like the cold and actually having seasons so that’s another reason I plan to stay and live around this area.

            I plan to not just have a job, but a career. I want to be successful in my life and successful to provide for my children (way later on, like when I’m 25). I want to be a Computer Administrator like my father or an Accountant because I’m intrigued with dealing with money. You ever go to the bank and pull out a whole bunch of 20’s and the banker counts it so fast you can’t even keep up? Yeah, I’d like to be able to have that skill. Not necessarily working in a bank but somewhere in accounting. If you have a career you get a salary and that’s what I’m looking for whether I pull 30 hours or 50 hours I’m still getting a base amount + some. That will make me financially secure compared to working an hourly job where your hours will fluctuate every week. Sometimes you actually get more then 40 but sometimes you get a lot less.

Whoa! 525 words.. #OverAchieved.