Tuesday, January 22, 2013

~ Story Time ~


The Tortoise and the Hare

                Once upon a time there lived a hare who, boasting how he could run faster than anyone else, was forever teasing the tortoise for its slowness.  Every single day when all the little animals of Farmville awoke, the first thing the hare would do was sprint down to tortoise’s house and make fun of how slow he is of waking up.  At every single party that was held at Mayor Owl’s house, the hare was always the first to show up and the tortoise was the last to show up.  On one particular morning, the hare dreamt about three little pigs and the Big Bad Wolf.  Every time the pigs built their houses, the Big Bad Wolf did not blow it down like legend had said.  Instead, his fists were so powerful that he punched and shattered their homes instantly.  Having no idea why the dream was set forth for him, he didn’t question about the odd dream.  Little did he know, the Big Bad Wolf had already destroyed the three little pigs’ home and was heading towards their town of Farmville.  Fortunately, the tortoise also had the same dream and began making preparations for the attack.  He warned the animals of the village to build their houses out of diamonds from the mining cave behind the River of Tears.  By shaping their homes out of diamonds, the Big Bad Wolf would not be able to destroy their homes with a single punch.  Matter of fact, he wouldn’t even be able to destroy them at all.  A single punch at diamond would fracture his hands instantly.  Anyways, so for the time that they had before the Big Bad Wolf came by, the entire village of Farmville mined for weeks but the only one that did not prepare for the attack was the hare.  He though that the tortoise was a joke and pretended not to notice.  Eventually the day came and the Big Bad Wolf came into town looking for trouble. 

                To make an impression of himself, he started off by throwing a few punches at city hall.  Unaware of the hidden layers of diamonds, he threw one punch, then two, and three but the building stood there without a scratch.  His hands were so swollen that the pain surged in waves throughout his body.  He ran out towards the southern part of Farmville where the hare lived and hid within a broken down shed and sat there in tears.  He wanted revenge and when he took a peek outside, there on a hill, the only hill in Farmville, there was a little hole in which only a hare could live in.  He slowly plotted his entire revenge on the hare.  Once his fists were fully healed, not a single hill would exist in Farmville.   Luckily, tortoise lived in the lake near the shed and overheard what the Big Bad Wolf had said.  Without hesitating, he crawled to the hare’s house and notified him about the plot.  Ignorant and conceited, he shut the door on the tortoise and resented the message.  Instead, he threw up his little feet in the air and fell asleep.  A few hours later, the sun drops and the stars begin to appear.  From out of the darkness, the Big Bad Wolf’s grin could be seen as he tip-toes his way closer and closer to the hare’s home.  He takes a peek into the tiny little holes of the house and finds the hare all asleep on the comfy grounds for long.  Little did he know that his home was going to be invaded and beaten to dust and dirt.  He digs a small enough hole from him to crawl through and begins to throw his fists all around.  Clink, Clank, Crack, Clink, Clank, Crack. 

                His hands were broken and immobilized by the hardness of the dirt.  His howls were heard by King Neptune and SpongeBob Squarepants from Bikini Bottom.  It awoke the entire villagers who came rushing to the crime scene.  The paws of the Big Bad Wolf were snapped and hanging as it sat there crying.  When Mayor Owl woke up the hare, he was surprised that the Big Bad Wolf had visited his home and was terrorized by his presence.  When the hare looked around his house, nothing was broken and not a single scratch was put on his furniture.  Confused and petrified, he asked Mayor Owl what had happened.  The tortoise finally had gotten to the hare’s house and took over the explanation.  After the hare refused to accept the tortoise’s warning, he went to the villagers to help out the hare.  At first the villagers refused to do such a deed because of the way the hare treated everybody but when the tortoise pleaded for their help, they began working on making the hare’s home and furniture out of diamonds.  Of course it took all night but that was all they needed to complete the job.  The hare was embarrassed, shocked and stunned.  His misdeeds lead him to feeling guilty about the tortoise and the entire villagers of Farmville.  Speed did not make him any better than the others and it took the slow tortoise to help him understand his immoral ideas.  His body might have been quicker than the others but his mind was slow and conceited.  The hare apologized to everyone and gave the Big Bad Wolf a kick on the paws.  It made him cry and everyone had to cover their ears to prevent damages to their ears.  As punishment for the Big Bad Wolf from the entire villagers, they exiled the Big Bad Wolf from Farmville and locked him up in a pineapple and tossed him under the sea.  After a few hours under the sea, he drowned and a sponge known as SpongeBob moved into the pineapple and together he lived happily with a snail named Gary.  On the other hand, the hare learned his lesson and never picked on anyone from the village ever again. 

3 comments:

  1. 1.This story like its somewhat predecessors involves more from other stories and has a particular wet ending. the only thing alike to the old story is the characters you used and a few of thier attributes.

    2. They are not very developed but gives a rough outline of what the character does and thier special abilities. the most developed characters are the big bad wolf, the hare, and the tortoise.

    3. This story contains the introduction, rising actions, a small climax, then an abrupt falling actions thus leading to the end resolution for the wolf.

    4. The ending satisfys the readers and myself by what the farmville does to the wolf in the end creating a begining to spongebob.

    5. The thing that really stuck out to me is the large amount of diamonds used to recreate everything in farmville and the quickness of the wolf's healing. Why this stood out to me is the wolf would have to be like wolverine off of x-men to heal in one night, also the monetary value of all the diamonds interests me.

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  2. The story still has several elements of the original but it was still different because the lesson was taught in a different situation. You used the original story and also included other stories, games, and tv shows. I like how you taught the same kind of lesson using the "Three Little Pigs" idea instead. I think you did a good job of developing characters. You used the same attributes of the characters in the original but still made it fit into the story.I think you did the best job with the hare by making describing how conceited he is. You included all the important parts of the plot. I thought it was funny and weird at the same time that you turned what happened to the Big Bad Wolf into the story of Spongebob. You have a lot of rising action which was a good lead into the climax. I like that the hare learns his lesson in the end just like in the original. You still taught something just with a different plot. The Spongebob thing was kind of out of place with the rest of the story but it was pretty funny so I liked it. The thing I liked most about the story was that you took elements from so many other things to incude. You used "The Three Little Pigs" and made them live in Farmville from Facebook. Of course I can't forget Spongebob either. Nice job, it was a pretty comical read.

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  3. Jake,
    You did a good job on not following the original story line. I loved how you used different characters from different books and such. Your character development was great as well. The way you incorporated SpongeBob and the Big Bad Wolf was what made your story very funny and the characters traits, stand out more. I think your story plot has everything it needs to be a good story. You have your intro which is about how the hare makes fun of the tortoise. You have your rising action about how the big bad wolf is on his way to tear down the down. You have your climax which is when the wolf gets there and the rising action about how he can’t tear down any of the buildings. Also I think the other part of the rising action was when the hare finds out the tortoise built diamonds into his home. Last, the resolution was about the Big Bad Wolf being banned and thrown into the sea. I do have to say one bad thing though; some of your sentences were confusing. Also, there were a few spelling errors.  The ending made me laugh because of the way you brought SpongeBob back into your story. I personally love the show SpongeBob and have seen almost every episode. The thing that really stuck out to me the most was your choice in characters. Again I just love how you incorporated SpongeBob in there. Great job!!
    Whitney

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